The Never-Ending Chase for More: How to Escape the Cycle of Hedonic Adaptation

Last week literally drained me.

And for some reason (my period x_x), no amount of positive thinking could shift the dark cloud hovering above my head. The doom and gloom were truly dooming and glooming.

The weeks prior had been full of productivity. I was checking things off my to-do list, crushing my physical and mental health goals, setting boundaries, and even reacting better to provocation that would have ordinarily dragged me into a lower vibrational state. My consistency was paying off, and the results were apparent and beyond promising. I was so proud of myself.

So why? Why was I suddenly exhausted?
Why did everything feel overwhelming?
Why did I feel so dissatisfied and discontent?

Image credit: Studio Dragon

I was worried. Because isn’t there this hope that when we do the work consistently and get rewarded for it, we will finally achieve the lasting joy we’ve been seeking?

Right?

RIGHT?!

Sigh.

After an intense week of self-care in the form of indulging in multiple episodes of an enemies-to-lovers Chinese rom-com (aka my favorite form of mind-numbing therapy), it struck me—my melancholy wasn’t fueled by doing the work.

What drained me was how much more I needed from the outcome.

I had gotten my temporary boost of joy, basked in it, and then…it faded. And now, I wanted—no, I needed—more.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of "What’s Next?"

I realized I have a pattern:

• I put in the work.

• I get the reward.

• I feel ecstatic.

• The high fades.

• I feel dissatisfied and start searching for the next best thing.

And it hit me: I was waiting for something—some achievement, some milestone—that would finally quench my discontent once and for all.

But that moment never comes.

So, my dear girlie, if you can relate to this exhausting cycle of chasing the next high and waiting for more, this journal is for you. And guess what? There’s a psychological term for it.

It’s called Hedonic Adaptation.

What Is Hedonic Adaptation?

Hedonic Adaptation is a phenomenon where our brains quickly adjust to positive (or negative) changes, making the extraordinary feel ordinary over time.

According to researchers, humans have a happiness baseline that we tend to return to after experiencing new stimuli. This is why:

• The excitement of landing a new job eventually wears off.

• The thrill of buying a new car fades.

• The happiness from achieving a goal feels great—but soon, you’re itching for the next one.

You find yourself needing something more because your mind has settled back into its default level of happiness.

So, girlies, we are not crazy or greedy for always wanting more—we are just human. Yay! 🎉

Now that I understand why this feeling always creeps in, here are a few reminders I’ll be holding onto the next time it comes knocking.

1. "Wait Not, Want Not"

I don’t know about y’all, but waiting for future hopes and dreams to manifest is excruciating.

Sure, there are things we have to wait for—test results, callbacks, the next season of our favorite show. But making a habit of waiting for the next best thing in our own lives? That’s something we need to challenge.

Putting our joy in the hands of time—instead of in the present—teaches us to keep pushing happiness into the distant unknown. And that? That’s how we stay stuck in an endless loop of “I’ll be happy when…”.

2. "If Not Now, Then When?"

We love the future because it’s unwritten.

There, we imagine ourselves as braver, more powerful, more accomplished—the heroines of our own story. In comparison, our present selves can feel…less than.

But here’s the truth:

The future depends on what we do now.

Instead of waiting for our future selves to finally be that girl, we need to start living as her now.

• That confident, put-together version of you? Be her today.

• That person who sets boundaries and prioritizes joy? Show up as her now.

• That dream life you crave? Start making small shifts toward it, today.

The future you doesn’t need you to minimize yourself while waiting for her arrival—she needs you to start stepping into her power now.

3. "Intentionality As the Main Course"

Sometimes life gets so overwhelming that we forget the good intentions we mapped out for ourselves.

Babe, it’s okay. We are human.

It’s okay to have moments of vulnerability, to wish for more, to feel a little lost. Because it’s in those moments that we learn more about ourselves—about what truly fuels our joy.

Is your happiness tied to achievements?
Or is it rooted in who you are becoming?

Living an intentional life means expanding your definition of joy beyond external accomplishments. It’s about:

• Finding joy in self-awareness.

• Celebrating the day-to-day progress.

• Taking pride in your resilience and your ability to return to balance.

You, my dear, are the next best thing in your life.

Your strength, authenticity, and growth are magnificent. Instead of waiting for external validation, shower yourself with the love and appreciation you deserve.

Breaking the Pattern: Finding Contentment in the Now

What a relief to know we are not alone in this struggle.

Now that we understand Hedonic Adaptation, let’s do our best to break the cycle when it inevitably rears its ugly head.

No matter the dips and detours life may take, let’s make it a habit to savor our current chapter—rather than stay stuck in frustrated anticipation for what’s next.

Cheers to us, for loving ourselves so much that we conquer new challenges every week.

Ugh, I love us so much! 🥂💖