What If It Does Work Out? 5 Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage and Move Forward
Image Credit: Paramount Pictures
Because maybe the problem isn’t your plan... it’s your panic.
Let’s get into it...
You finally have a vision. A new idea, a fresh start, a maybe-I-should-actually-try kind of moment. And for 2.3 seconds, it feels good.
But then... the committee in your head chimes in.
“Be serious.”
“You always say that.”
“Remember what happened last time?”
“Girl, relax.”
And suddenly, you’re spiraling—not because your idea is bad, but because your nervous system has mistaken possibility for threat.
So now you’re not doing the thing... not because you’re not ready, but because you’re afraid of how it would feel if it didn’t go perfectly.
Let’s just name it: your brain is rehearsing failure before you’ve even started.
But what if this time, you didn’t let that be the end of the story?
Step 1: Get Real About Your Default Setting
Start by noticing your go-to thought when something excites you. Is it...
“This is probably a waste of time.”
“I’ll mess it up eventually.”
“Other people can do that, not me.”
If yes, congrats—you’re human. Our brains are wired for negativity bias, which means they’re better at scanning for threats than opportunities. But just because it’s automatic doesn’t mean it’s accurate.
Try This:
Next time you catch yourself spiraling, say out loud...
“That’s one story. Not the whole story.”
Because you get to decide what the next thought is.
Step 2: Practice the “Opposite Thought” Muscle
You know how your brain is so good at imagining the worst-case scenario? Let’s hijack that skill.
Here’s the challenge: every time a fear-based thought shows up, try flipping it into something hopeful—without sarcasm.
Example:
Spiral Thought:
“I’m probably not disciplined enough to stick with this.”
Flip:
“I haven’t been consistent before, but I’m also more self-aware now. That matters.”
Spiral Thought:
“People will think I’m cringey if I post about this.”
Flip:
“They’ll probably think it’s cool. And even if they don’t, I’d rather be seen than silenced.”
It’s not about pretending everything’s perfect... it’s about being fair to the other possibility. You’ve already mastered the art of self-doubt. Let’s balance the scale.
Step 3: Pick a Tiny, Unsexy Starting Point
Most people don’t fail at their goals... they fail at their expectations. You don’t need a 10-step reinvention plan—you need a next step that’s too small to fail.
Real-World Translations:
Don’t “write a book”... write a messy paragraph on your Notes app.
Don’t “launch a business”... make a Google Doc with one sentence describing the vibe.
Don’t “start working out again”... just put your workout clothes on and walk around the block like you're in a Nike ad no one asked for.
TGLM Reminder:
You don’t need a whole blueprint to get started. You just need a little motion and some belief in your back pocket.
Step 4: Separate Discouragement from Discernment
Not every doubt is sabotage... sometimes it’s wisdom in disguise. Maybe you do need to pause. Maybe you do need to pivot. But make sure the reason you’re backing off is clarity, not fear pretending to be logic.
Ask yourself...
“Is this a true limitation, or am I just afraid to look foolish?”
If it’s fear? Keep going.
If it’s alignment? Adjust with grace, not shame.
Step 5: Start Noticing Evidence That You’re Changing
Your brain needs proof. So give it some.
Every time you choose the healthier thought, take the tiny action, or calm yourself out of a spiral—track it.
Start a “What If It Does Work Out” note in your phone:
“Didn’t cancel my plan just because I felt nervous.”
“Sent the email instead of ghosting the opportunity.”
“Did the thing even though I was sweaty and awkward.”
It’s not about being fearless... it’s about building trust with yourself.
A Gentle Nudge Before We Say Goodbye.
Image Credit: Paramount Pictures
We’re all a little scared of joy.
Because deep down, you’ve probably felt that when things go well, something bad is around the corner. (Blame childhood. Or rom-coms. Or Mercury retrograde.)
But maybe it’s time to write a new mental story—one where your life gets better and your nervous system doesn’t have to scream about it.
Let yourself feel weird about this new season. Let yourself be hopeful anyway.
Let yourself get excited, even if it’s only for a minute at first.
And when that inner voice starts whispering...
“What if this doesn’t work?”
Smile softly and answer...
“Yeah... but what if it does?”
You deserve to find out.
Still Feeling spirally?
Try our free What If It Does Work Out worksheet —your gentle reset for when self-doubt starts talking and you need a reminder that you're still showing up, step by step.