Ghosting 101: Why They Disappeared and Why You Shouldn’t Care
Image Credit: Universal Pictures
It’s always the same story.
You’re texting, you’re flirting, maybe even making plans for the weekend. You’re thinking, Wow, look at me thriving in the dating world. Then—BAM. Silence. No "hey, I’m busy," no "let’s talk later," just a big fat void where their texts used to be.
Cue the spiral: Did I say something weird? Were my last three emojis too aggressive? Was my “haha” not long enough? Stop right there. You, my friend, have just been ghosted. But before you start decoding your entire text history like it’s an FBI investigation, let’s get real about why they disappeared—and why you shouldn’t waste another second caring.
Why They Ghosted
The truth? Ghosting usually has very little to do with you and everything to do with them. Here are some of the most common reasons people pull a disappearing act:
They’re Avoidant – Some people are conflict-averse and would rather vanish than send a simple, "Hey, I’m not feeling this." Immature? Yes. Common? Also yes.
They Were Never That Invested – Harsh but true: If someone ghosts, they probably weren’t that into you in the first place. People make time for who they care about.
They Found Someone Else – Dating today is a buffet, and some people will keep sampling until they find their favorite dish. If they ghosted, they might have simply shifted their attention elsewhere.
They’re Emotionally Unavailable – If they struggle with vulnerability or commitment, disappearing feels easier than facing their emotions.
They Just Suck at Communication – Some people are serial ghosters, disappearing from friendships, jobs, and responsibilities, too. It’s not you, it’s their pattern.
Why You Shouldn’t Care
Now that you know why they ghosted, here’s why you should stop giving them mental real estate:
Closure is overrated. You don’t need their explanation to move on. The fact that they ghosted is the explanation.
People who ghost are doing you a favor. They’re showing you early on that they lack basic communication skills. Better now than later.
You deserve better. Someone who values you won’t leave you hanging. The right person won’t make you question their interest.
Your energy is precious. Don’t waste it wondering what went wrong. Redirect that time into yourself, your hobbies, and people who actually show up for you.
What to Do Instead
Resist the urge to text them. If they wanted to talk to you, they would.
Don’t take it personally. Their inability to communicate is their issue, not yours.
Move on with confidence. You’re not missing out on anything by losing someone who didn’t respect you enough to say goodbye.
Ghosting might sting in the moment, but ultimately, it’s just bad behavior wrapped in convenience. The best response? Let them disappear—and don’t look back. You are better than all of this anyway :)