If you are a girl like me, you love your girlfriends very much. They are not only just your friends, but also your sisters. Some could even argue that girlfriends are your true soulmates. They are the first ones you turn to when you have great news to share, and they are also the ones you know will always be there for you, when you are down.
Girlfriends simply are the wind beneath your wings.
So now that we have given a brief introduction to the magic that is female close knit relationships, it is time to get down to the nitty gritty.
Every group of girlfriends deserve a girls vacation. A time where we plan for weeks in advance, actively try to follow diet plans and share links of outfits to wear, all in a bid to slay collectively on social media and of course, also have the time of our lives.
A time where we get to make breakfast together, laugh uproariously, shade each other teasingly, make impulsive decisions that we usually wouldn’t and just be as ourselves as much as we possibly can. Regardless of how basic or lavish your trip might be, what we know for sure to be true is that girls trips are always full of unforgettable memories, some of which admittedly, we wouldn’t mind forgetting.
As a notable member of several girl groups spanning over time, from nursery school to graduate school, I do consider myself knowledgeable enough to tackle this topic.
I have learned, through personal experience, that no matter how amazing you are, you, yes you, can be annoying in a setting that involves multiple people with different ideas in their head, all aiming for the same goal, to have fun.
It takes a certain amount of skill to learn to compromise for the good of the entire trip.
Group vacations are simply about learning how to delicately balance what you want to do, with what the rest of the group wants to do. How to be fair, while at the same time getting what you want because at the end of the day, every single person put money on the table to have fun, so everyone deserves to have a trip that caters to a percentage of their needs, while on vacation.
So here are 5 tips that will help you approach your vacation in a less annoying way.
Be prepared. Pack enough clothes : There is always that one friend that forgets to pack enough clothes for the trip, and spends the entire time borrowing from everyone else to make up for it. While of course friendship is about sharing, let’s be real here boo, some of us have planned our bomb outfits ahead of time, and now we have to take a picture standing next to you wearing our “Saturday night” outfit on a Friday, forever immortalized on social media. I have a friend who hates carrying too much on a trip, she packs lightly purposely, and spends the whole time, talking about what she wishes she brought. The aim is to slay on the trip, so she knows we all got her back, but it is annoying. It is always best to be more prepared than under-prepared.
Tip: Pack more outfits more than you need, that way you always have something to wear.
Friend Tip: Pack an extra outfit you have no plans to really wear to help your annoying friend out.
It is a vacation, quit asking for help: Okay ladies now let’s get it together. Can we all collectively assume a responsibility for self on a group trip? It is a vacation, which means, if you have a friend who is great at laying wigs, or a friend who is a brilliant MUA, this is not the time to bombard her with requests to help you slay your hair, beat your face or anything. Let her focus on having as much time to get herself as ready for the slayage as she requires, without having to deal with the mental labor of vacillating between the guilt of responding affirmatively while suppressing the urge to yell, “NO!” to the long line of requests laid at her feet. Give your friend the opportunity to offer her help, only if she wants to, and most likely, she will. Also let her choose the extent to which she wants to help you, if she wants to give you tips instead of doing the labor of doing an entire makeover, don’t sulk, pout or be entitled, be grateful.
Tip: Watch YouTube videos before and during your trip to help you learn some tricks to slay your wig and get that face beat!
Friend Tip: Send Hair and MUA videos to your annoying friend, so she can start practicing early and leave you alone while on vacation.
Pick an equally annoying friend in the group to do annoying things with: If you are a fan of having a million pictures of yourself captured on vacation, pick someone else out of the group who feels the same way and be each other’s photographer. There is nothing more annoying than being the unpaid photographer on a girls trip, especially when you don’t require the same amount of pictures. A couple of pictures here and there, is completely fine but baby, the whole day of capturing candids? just exactly the right way you want it? at the right angle? with the right light?! you are completely tripping if you don’t think that is not annoying as fuck. Please understand that your friends are on vacation and they are not here to work or accompany you for the special things that you personally want. They might still do it, because friendship, but don’t expect that labor just because friendship.
Tip: You will know your friends are getting tired of taking your pictures from the amount of enthusiasm they put into the task. If they seem tired, note the other person in the group who keeps asking for pictures, latch on to her and help each other flourish.
Friend Tip: Casually point out to your annoying friend the other annoying friend in the group so they can both leave you alone to sip your cocktails while lounging on the beach.
Prepare to make at least one compromise on the trip : Group trips are always a tad tricky because it deals with multiple personalities all aiming for the same idea, fun and that idea might be completely different in your individual minds. Prepare yourself to compromise at least once so that someone else can get to do what they want. If it is something that you generally don’t prefer but isn’t completely out of your comfort zone and the whole group is eager to do it, go for it, for the sake of the memories of the trip, make that compromise and participate. The upside is that you can use your compromise as a bargaining chip to get people to do what you want to do in return.
Tip: In your vacation group chat, ask everyone to list out what they would like to do on vacation, and make a mental note on what you don’t mind compromising on, so that you can be prepared in advance.
Friend Tip: Don’t be annoying, a vacation is also about trying different things, work on compromising.
Leave your problems at home : On a girls trip, the last thing anyone wants to deal with is listening to you harp on constantly about your trifling man or your annoying boss or both. We have every other week to listen to you, but this one, this one is for us. Don’t be that friend who is constantly in a shitty mood all week/weekend, or on the phone arguing with her man, or just letting her mood fuck up the vibes of the entire group. Try to take this time away for yourself, and be mindful that other people want to disconnect from reality for a bit. Do everyone the favor of getting it together so we can all collectively have a good time and not worry constantly about you. Don’t be the friend opting to stay home on the first night because your boyfriend might call at 11pm, be the friend who is facetiming her boyfriend AT the club. Don’t be the friend who takes a girls trip to mean “me time” and “catch up on sleep time” and “please guys, could you keep it down time”, unless it is expressly stated that this is a relaxing and resting girls trip, this is not the place, nor the time for secluding yourself the entire trip. Yes of course, you are free to do what you want on your trip, however, we are all collectively responsible for maintaining the levity of the mood. While you are free to insist on personal time for yourself or have a lot you want to offload, be mindful that it might be intruding on others own freedom to relax and have fun as well. We all got problems and the point of a vacation with your girlfriends, is to run away from them together for a brief, beautiful moment in time.
Tip: If you need extra R&R on this trip, let your friends know early so they are mindful of it.
Friend Tip: If it is clear your annoying friend needs some time to talk, set aside some time to sit with her and discuss what is on her mind. Lend her your shoulder and cheer her up so she can get herself and her mind back on track to the important matter at hand, the jollification.
If you enjoyed reading this tips and you agree or disagree with them, comment below! If you have some added tips to share, I would also love to hear them!
Words by Doreen Caven