“Long lost relatives”,
And anyone who wants to contact me to play matchmaker, just because I’m 30+ and single does not mean I want to date/marry:
1. Some jobless man from Nigeria or currently based in the states with no means of work.
2. Men who are angry.
3. Men who see women as children or as house-help instead of partners.
4. Men who don’t love themselves so they take out their frustrations whether emotionally or physically on you.
No need for additional examples as y’all know what I’m talking about. Contrary to popular belief you don't start to settle as you get older. My standards have not diminished since turning 30.
In fact, they have only gotten more clear.
As I gain more confidence in my adult life, and I truly continue learning who I am and what I’m made of, there are certain things I will not take or stand for, and there are certain things I will.
Everyone’s bullshit tolerance level is different.
From my observations thus far, women who get married because they are desperate and/or succumbed to the pressure from family/friends/society to settle down, have almost always experienced crushing unhappiness, and marriages rife with incompatibility and distress. (There are of course happy marriages...examples of some family and close friends offer inspiration for what I strive for.)
I say all this to say, there are “levels” in every stage of life and I want a man who is simply on my level.
And by level, I don't even mean financially, I mean intellectually.
I am interested in his take on life and how he sees things, how he solves issues and the way he perceives me and I perceive him.
To other 30+ ladies reading this, it is okay to admit that you are literally just too much for that potential bf/husband that is being pushed on you. And by too much, I mean that your star is too bright and not that you are too much trouble.
You are literally too much on an emotional level, a financial one, a spiritual one, a physical level...Damn, maybe even on all levels (yes there are are some candidates brought to the table that will make you question if the matchmaker actually likes you as a person) and there is no need to sugarcoat shit, and definitely no reason to feel guilty about it either.
So Biko (Please), “Aunty”, “Friend”, “Long lost relative”...if you ain’t coming correct, don’t come at all.
Don’t waste my time because y’all won’t be the one in the house suffering with me.
Words by Nnenna Obioha.