It has been 6 months since you were conceived.
There have been so many ups and downs in this short period of time.
Your mother has doubted herself over and over again.
In the beginning, I chose to focus on the fact that our story wasn’t the norm.
That I wasn’t married prior to you being here.
That you wouldn’t be born into the typical two parent hetero-normative structure, and for a Nigerian American woman like your mother,
it felt shameful.
I was scared and most importantly, I felt I wasn’t worthy of you.
As I battled all these emotions, my biggest fear came with telling your grandparents.
I will be 33 in October. (I know, your mommy is old) but even at my age, this was a big deal!
Your grandparents are Nigerian. They come from a very conservative era, so my mind battled with their reaction.
My sister, your Aunty, became my everything during this time.
Even when I told them, she did most of the talking. She carried me when I couldn’t carry myself.
As the Ada (first daughter), I didn’t want to disappoint them, but your grandpa and grandma did not disappoint me.
That day showed me what being a parent was truly all about.
They showed me that they trusted me and would never forsake me.
They showered me with so much love and support, I was embarrassed that I was even scared at all.
I focused so much on what others would think or say that I lost sight of the most important thing of all.
You are and will always be my blessing.
I have spent more than a decade preparing for you, mentally, emotionally, and financially.
Your mommy is a boss!
I had to remember who I was.
I’m grateful that I went through the turmoil because it only made me stronger for you.
It didn’t matter what anyone else thought because these special people who you’ll call your family had my back.
No matter what.
I will make mistakes, I will embarrass you, drive you crazy etc etc but I will never abandon you.
I will love you and love you and love you again.
You are coming into a world that looks scary, but I have every faith in you and the people of your generation to do better.
All I wish for you is to be a happy and kind human being.
To know who you are, where you come from and that you are LOVED.
To be better than me in every facet.
“See life for you my prince has just begun
And I thank you for choosing me
To come through unto life to be
A beautiful reflection of his grace
See I know that a gift so great
Is only one god could create”
Words by Nnenna Obioha